April 9, 2010

If Sick, Wife Must Reject Sex

If Sick, Wife Must Reject Sex
Although often feel pain during sex, he dared not refuse her husband's request because it was considered not want to do the job and wife. What should be done in order to understand the suffering wife of a husband?
I am age 38, husband 40 years. If having sex with their husbands often feel pain in the vagina and abdomen, since three years ago. Sometimes I ask if her husband refused to have sex. The problem is, husbands are often angry and say I do not want to serve. If it were so, I was forced to serve with the pain.
Taught my husband's wishes should not be rejected because it is an obligation, but I was in pain. Often I think of what married about this? If you want to sleep I felt scared and did not know how to say in order not to have sex because of illness.

Is this the fate of his wife, must always fulfill its obligations towards her husband? Sometimes I feel treated unfairly. How to avoid getting sick again? What's wrong with me? How to make the husband understand, and not only demanding their rights? "
Wrong understanding
Before answering your question, I first need to explain more about female sexuality. Basically the sexuality of women and men have in common, besides a difference.

To be sure, women are sexual beings, just like men. Because of that, women also had or experienced the following: a) have a drive (sexual desire), b) experienced a sexual awakening as a psychic and physical reaction to sexual stimulation, c) can have an orgasm, d) may experience sexual dysfunction.
There is still a huge misunderstanding on the community, especially among men, about women's sexuality: 1) he assumes women do not need sexual satisfaction, 2) women are considered only as objects satisfy a man, so must always be ready to serve men, 3) he thought if women capable of pregnancy and childbirth means satisfied sexually.
It arises due to misunderstanding the wrong attitude and behavior of men toward women, especially wives. First, the husband thinks his wife should be always ready to serve, whenever he wants to have sex. Second, if the wife is not willing to have sexual relations because of certain reasons, she considered not doing their duty as wives.

This is what you are now experiencing. I am sure your husband does not understand women's sexuality, as I describe above. Because do not understand, like that's the attitude and treatment toward you.
I believe the attitude and behavior will change if her husband understand the sexuality of women. I am sure your husband will not be angry again when it understands that you need some help to your problem can be overcome. I am sure your husband will not force you again.

Do not be forced
If you feel sick each sex, means that there is cause, the cause may be physical or psychological. Sure to know what the cause. Through proper evaluation and examination will be known the pain it causes.
Some physical causes, such reactions do not occur pelendiran vagina and inveksi
on the genitals or surrounding areas. May also perlendiran vaginal sexual arousal does not occur because you are blocked. Another cause of disillusionment among the psychic's husband, sexual satisfied before, and stress.
Before the pain is gone, you should not have sexual relations. If circumstances had allowed Teru psychosexual trauma you will experience worse. Today was actually due to the trauma you've experienced it, so afraid of each going to bed, afraid of her husband demanded sex.
There is no way other than doing the following steps:
  1. dare to explain to the husband that you are experiencing sexual dysfunction, and should receive treatment,
  2. explain to the husband, in this state you should not have sex,
  3. ask for your understanding husband that rejection is not means will not fulfill its obligations as a wife, but to talk due to worse,
  4. be further consultation to experts.
  5. Do not wait any longer.
The longer allowed, the worse you will experience. That is, will arise from the sexual life worse for you and your husband.

source : http://kesehatan.kompas.com

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